The Great Exhaustion and Being Authentic

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What It’s About: There is much discussion these days about the importance of authenticity at work. Why is being authentic important? One of many reasons has to do with counteracting what I call “The Great Exhaustion.” (If someone can make up the term “Great Resignation,” I can coin the term “The Great Exhaustion” 🤓🙏).

According to Dr. Jennifer Foust, Clinical Director for The Center for Growth, the following are simple authenticity checkpoints:

“Your job gives you a sense of purpose or fulfillment, rather than feeling drained and lacking energy .
You believe your relationships are based on honesty, and genuine respect for who we truly are.
When out in social situations, you feel as though you are presenting the real you, rather than someone you’re not.
You’re unsure of how others will respond to you, but regardless you are proud of who you are and who you are being.”

Let’s face it, we get emotionally sucked dry when we try to be somebody we’re not. “Fake it til you make it” sounds clever, and yet I think it’s horse dung. Of course, getting uncomfortable and thoughtful risk taking is a basis for growth. However, pretending and being phony chews us up.

Everyday Examples: A colleague who is open about being a member of the LGBQT+ community confided in me the anguish he still goes through introducing his partner to co-workers. Too many people duck saying what they really feel at a meeting because they don’t trust the reaction they’ll get. Others struggling with a project are afraid to ask for help because they don’t want to be seen as weak or failures. Bosses strut around like peacocks pretending to know it all, when we all know they don’t. Team members fluff up their Instagram to present a life they know is only partially true. Etc. Etc.

So What?: When we have all this added, extreme outside exhaustion-inducing stress as a result of our pandemic cursed environment, we don’t need to add to the fatigue by embracing a phony bologna ratio that’s out of whack. (Let’s be honest, we will always be somewhat of an imperfect fake… No one is 100 percent real, 100 percent of the time, unless we are inauthentically authentic, haha).

Now What?: I wish I could give you the magic elixir for authenticity. No such luck. You have to struggle through getting to a better ratio like we all do (although a Google search will give you lots of ideas on how to advance). My experience though, is that ultimately it's wrapped up in the biblical wisdom, “the truth will set you free.” The more we hide and are dishonest with ourselves, the more tiring it is. Knowing who we really are is a never ending discovery process. It does mean that we have to take the time to THINK. Our mind is not who we are. We’re the boss. Put our minds to work. Be real to ourselves first! And of course, we sometimes can’t change our situation overnight. However, answering the following questions: Who am I really? What is my purpose in life? What are core values that I’m true to? How can my job help me be more true to myself? etc. will help immensely and give us back some of that personal energy we deserve . F$%@ the Big Exhaustion!

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now,

- Lorne

One Millennial View: Well, thank goodness you had more creativity than to coin it “exhaustion-gate” like every hack on the planet probably would. I’m thrilled that there seems to be a feverish craving for authenticity. Answering the above questions honestly is a tall order, and likely a main issue keeping psychologists in business. That being said, our authenticity is worth battling for. Whatever truths we’re hesitant to own because we’re afraid they’ll make us unlikable, being 100 percent fake is definitely unlikable.

- Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis.

The Great Exhaustion and Being Authentic

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